Wednesday, February 17, 2010
नकारा चाक़ू
This film is made by my friends and me. 'Old Socks Motion Pictures' is the name of our production house.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Yeh ‘Suffer’ zara filmi hain!!!
Scene 1
Engineering hostel, Bangalore
उस दिन एक छात्र ने एक ऐसा निर्णय लिया जो उसे बरसो तक अपने पापा से और हमेशा के लिए अपने GF से दूर रखेगा.
काफी सारा हिम्मत और थोड़ी सी Old Monk चढ़ा कर उसने अपने पापा को फ़ोन किया और कहा “पापा मैं engineering नहीं कर सकता, मुझे film-maker बन्ना हैं”. आधे घंटे बाद जब उसने फोन रखा तो उसके आँखों में आसू थे, और हाथ में Old Monk.
हॉस्टल के बाकी छात्रों को जब यह खबर मिली, तो सारे ग्यान देने पहुंचे – “तू पागल हैं”, “director बन्ना मज़ाक थोड़ी हैं”, “अबे back-up चाहिए होता हैं”, “सपने देखना बन्द कर”, “नहीं नहीं तुने सही decision लिया”, “अबे मैं भी सोच रहा हूँ politician बन जाऊं”, “भाई actor मुझे ही लेना”, “तेरे फिल्म में rape scenes हुए तो मुझे ज़रूर याद करना” वग्येराह वग्येराह . लेकिन हाँ उस भीड़ में कुछ ऐसे लोग थे जो आज भी साथ हैं.
Scene 2
Film School, Bangalore
उस छात्र को लगता था की वोह फिल्मो को अच्छी तरह जानता हैं , क्यूंकि उसने थोड़े अंग्रेजी फिल्म, बहुत हिंदी फिल्में और बहुत सारे Porn films देखे थे. Full confidence के साथ जब वह अपने नए classroom में enter किया तो Mam ने पहला सवाल पुछा “How many of you have seen Citizen Kane”? पता चला किसी Orson Welles नामक निर्देशक ने बनाया था. भाई Spielberg सुना हैं, Yash Copra सुना हैं, MILF भी सुना हैं, यह कौनसी चीज़ हैं? उस दिन उसे समझ में आया, उसकी राह कोई गुलाब की पंकुरियो से नहीं सजी हैं.
Scene 3
Barista, Bangalore
उस छात्र ने अपनी पहली documentary बनायीं और वोह बहुत खुश होकर अपने GF को यह खबर देना चाहता था. खबर सुनने के बाद GF ने जवाब दिया “I am happy for you”. GF के अगले कुछ शब्दों ने उस पर ऐसा प्रहार किया की उसके सामने Barista का बिल भी कम पढ़ गया. वोह लड़का अपनी bike start कर के अकेले अपनी घर के तरफ रवाना हो गया.
लड़की के ma-बाप हमेशा चाहते हैं की उनकी लड़की किसी ऐसे लड़के के साथ रहे जो ज़िम्मेदार हो, जिसके पास job security हो, जिसके future साफ़ दिखता हो. अब यह सब किसी film-maker के पास कहाँ, यह सब तो सिर्फ engineer और doctors के पास होता हैं.
Scene 4
Posh colony, Jamshedpur
Sharma’s के घर पार्टी चल रही थी. उनके बेटे ने GRE clear किया था. America जा रहा था वोह भी scholarship के साथ. Party के बीच किसी ने उस छात्र से पुछा “बेटे तुम आजकल क्या कर रहे हो, कुछ editing वग्यारह का काम कर रहे हो न? छात्र पूरे आत्मविश्वास के साथ जवाब देना शुरू किया ही था की उसके पापा ने interrupt किया “अरे कुछ नहीं, पैसे बर्बाद कर रहा हैं, हम ही ने इसे सर पर बिठा रखा था, कहता हैं film-maker बनेगा. कुछ नहीं होगा इस नालायाख से” उस छात्र ने अपने पापा की ऊंची आवाज़ को तो बर्दाश्त कर लिया par उसके बाद का फुसफुसाहट उससे बर्दाश्त नहीं हुआ. घर-bar, नहीं sorry सिर्फ घर त्याग कर वोह बंगलोर की तरफ चल पड़ा.
अच्छी बात यह थी की वोह छात्र इनं सब scenes के बावजूद टुटा नहीं. अपने राह पर चलता गया. कई और चीजों को त्याग करता गया और आज वोह एक…………………………
जी नहीं वोह आज तक director बनं नहीं पाया.
Engineering hostel, Bangalore
उस दिन एक छात्र ने एक ऐसा निर्णय लिया जो उसे बरसो तक अपने पापा से और हमेशा के लिए अपने GF से दूर रखेगा.
काफी सारा हिम्मत और थोड़ी सी Old Monk चढ़ा कर उसने अपने पापा को फ़ोन किया और कहा “पापा मैं engineering नहीं कर सकता, मुझे film-maker बन्ना हैं”. आधे घंटे बाद जब उसने फोन रखा तो उसके आँखों में आसू थे, और हाथ में Old Monk.
हॉस्टल के बाकी छात्रों को जब यह खबर मिली, तो सारे ग्यान देने पहुंचे – “तू पागल हैं”, “director बन्ना मज़ाक थोड़ी हैं”, “अबे back-up चाहिए होता हैं”, “सपने देखना बन्द कर”, “नहीं नहीं तुने सही decision लिया”, “अबे मैं भी सोच रहा हूँ politician बन जाऊं”, “भाई actor मुझे ही लेना”, “तेरे फिल्म में rape scenes हुए तो मुझे ज़रूर याद करना” वग्येराह वग्येराह . लेकिन हाँ उस भीड़ में कुछ ऐसे लोग थे जो आज भी साथ हैं.
Scene 2
Film School, Bangalore
उस छात्र को लगता था की वोह फिल्मो को अच्छी तरह जानता हैं , क्यूंकि उसने थोड़े अंग्रेजी फिल्म, बहुत हिंदी फिल्में और बहुत सारे Porn films देखे थे. Full confidence के साथ जब वह अपने नए classroom में enter किया तो Mam ने पहला सवाल पुछा “How many of you have seen Citizen Kane”? पता चला किसी Orson Welles नामक निर्देशक ने बनाया था. भाई Spielberg सुना हैं, Yash Copra सुना हैं, MILF भी सुना हैं, यह कौनसी चीज़ हैं? उस दिन उसे समझ में आया, उसकी राह कोई गुलाब की पंकुरियो से नहीं सजी हैं.
Scene 3
Barista, Bangalore
उस छात्र ने अपनी पहली documentary बनायीं और वोह बहुत खुश होकर अपने GF को यह खबर देना चाहता था. खबर सुनने के बाद GF ने जवाब दिया “I am happy for you”. GF के अगले कुछ शब्दों ने उस पर ऐसा प्रहार किया की उसके सामने Barista का बिल भी कम पढ़ गया. वोह लड़का अपनी bike start कर के अकेले अपनी घर के तरफ रवाना हो गया.
लड़की के ma-बाप हमेशा चाहते हैं की उनकी लड़की किसी ऐसे लड़के के साथ रहे जो ज़िम्मेदार हो, जिसके पास job security हो, जिसके future साफ़ दिखता हो. अब यह सब किसी film-maker के पास कहाँ, यह सब तो सिर्फ engineer और doctors के पास होता हैं.
Scene 4
Posh colony, Jamshedpur
Sharma’s के घर पार्टी चल रही थी. उनके बेटे ने GRE clear किया था. America जा रहा था वोह भी scholarship के साथ. Party के बीच किसी ने उस छात्र से पुछा “बेटे तुम आजकल क्या कर रहे हो, कुछ editing वग्यारह का काम कर रहे हो न? छात्र पूरे आत्मविश्वास के साथ जवाब देना शुरू किया ही था की उसके पापा ने interrupt किया “अरे कुछ नहीं, पैसे बर्बाद कर रहा हैं, हम ही ने इसे सर पर बिठा रखा था, कहता हैं film-maker बनेगा. कुछ नहीं होगा इस नालायाख से” उस छात्र ने अपने पापा की ऊंची आवाज़ को तो बर्दाश्त कर लिया par उसके बाद का फुसफुसाहट उससे बर्दाश्त नहीं हुआ. घर-bar, नहीं sorry सिर्फ घर त्याग कर वोह बंगलोर की तरफ चल पड़ा.
अच्छी बात यह थी की वोह छात्र इनं सब scenes के बावजूद टुटा नहीं. अपने राह पर चलता गया. कई और चीजों को त्याग करता गया और आज वोह एक…………………………
जी नहीं वोह आज तक director बनं नहीं पाया.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Dhool Mitti aur T.T.E.
Shaam suhaana tha, mausam deewana tha, aur yeh sab bas ek sapna tha. Haqeeqat thodi dhoondli si thi (Literally). Hum chaar yaar Jaisalmer mein baval macha kar Dilli laut rahe the. Safar ki shuruwat humne Palace-on-Wheels ke exteriors ko nihaarte huye kiya. Nahin ji hum bas dekh rahe the, tickets to humara Train 4060 ke sleeper class mein booked tha.
Kya aapne kabhi suna hai ki:
o Train ki chat tapakta hai
o Bathroom ke basin mein nal nahin hain
o Bathroom mein basin nahin hai
Kuch aise jaw-dropping khoobiyan thi uss train mein. Chalo humne adjust kar liya usme. Hum ek romanchak trip se laut rahe the, dil mein umang aur bharpurr josh tha. Woh alag baat hai ki sharir aur dil ka co-ordination nahin baith raha tha.
Hum khidki se bahar ke nazaron ka luft utha rahe the ki achanak humne apne aap ko mitti mein lipta huwa paaya. Tab kahin ehsaas hua ki train ek registaan se guzar rahi hai. Humne khidki ko bandh karne ki koshish ki but Alas! Aur yeh stubborn khidkiyaan har khopche mein thi. Kuch der baad humey Thar Desert waali feel honey lagi. Par iss desert mein mirage ke naam pe ek pantry car tak nahin thi.
Tabhi Most Eligible Bachelor ne cheenkha “Woh dekho platform”. Humne raahat ki saans li. Train ke rukte hi humne chalaang lagayi. Landing ke baad humne ek doosre se poocha “Platform kahan hain”? Banjar zammen par ek ‘Pokhran‘ ka signboard tha.
Durr kahin humey ek pakode waala dikha. Humne khoobsaare pakode aur 2 mineral water ke botal uthaye. Pakode khaane ke baad humey kayi saal pehle huye uss nuclear blast ka asar pata chala . Woh radioactive pakode kha ke humare totey udd gaye aur saath mein andey bhi le gaye.
Iss episode ke baad hum apne priy mitra Shri Old Monk ko bag se aazad kar hi rahe the ki T.T.E. mahashay avtartit huye.
Humaare paas original ticket ka Xerox copy tha (Which is not equivalent to an e-ticket). Eligible Bachelor ke super intelligent dost ne counter se ticket book karwaya tha aur hume scanned copy mail kiya tha yeh keh kar ki chal jaayega. Agar us waqt paise nahin hotey to shayad humey chal ke hi aana padhta.
Humney TTE se samjhauta karne ki kaafi koshish ki par woh humse khafa ho kar AC compartment mein chale gaye. Ji woh baat kuch aisi thi ki Most Eligible Bachelor ne usey 50 rupaye offer kiya tha.
Agle station par ek aur TTE sahib aa gaye. Hum chaaro ne decide kiya ki iss baar 100 rupaye se shuru karenge. Par woh saala to imaandar nikla. Bola ki fir se humey ticket karwana hoga. Matlab poore paise lagenge. Tab pehle baar humne sleeper-class mein suffer karne ka lutf uthaya. Paise dene ke baad humne calculate kiya to pata chala ki hum chaaro ke paas mila jula kar tees rupye the. Arthaat train se utarte hi cigarettes to kharid sakte hain.
TTE ke jaate hi humne Shri Old Monk maharaj ko bag se nikala aur unka paan kiya . Uske baad to pata nahin kya hua aur kya nahin. Par mitti se sane sharir aur radioactice pakode se bhare pet ne aapas mein sulah kar lee aur apni premika arthat neend ki aagosh mein sama gaye.
Subah aankh khuli to 8-10 daily passengers bhookhi nazron se humey dekh rahe the. Pata chala ki unse apni hi tashreef ka bojh nahi sambhal raha. Hum apne berth se utar ke baith gaye. Kisi ko na to brush karne ki zaroorat mehsoos hui aur toilet ko dekh kar mal-dwar aur pet mein aise taale pad gaye mano ki shehar mein karfyue lag gaya ho.
Finally hum Palam ke platform par utare. Pata nahin woh mausam ka chamatkar tha ya humse huye balatkar ka, palam ka drishya kisi mirage se kam na tha.
Humne waqt zaya na karte huye, auto par apne aap ko lada aur apne ghar ki raah pakdi. Kyunki hum mein isse zyaada khushi shayad na-kabiley bardasht thi.
Kya aapne kabhi suna hai ki:
o Train ki chat tapakta hai
o Bathroom ke basin mein nal nahin hain
o Bathroom mein basin nahin hai
Kuch aise jaw-dropping khoobiyan thi uss train mein. Chalo humne adjust kar liya usme. Hum ek romanchak trip se laut rahe the, dil mein umang aur bharpurr josh tha. Woh alag baat hai ki sharir aur dil ka co-ordination nahin baith raha tha.
Hum khidki se bahar ke nazaron ka luft utha rahe the ki achanak humne apne aap ko mitti mein lipta huwa paaya. Tab kahin ehsaas hua ki train ek registaan se guzar rahi hai. Humne khidki ko bandh karne ki koshish ki but Alas! Aur yeh stubborn khidkiyaan har khopche mein thi. Kuch der baad humey Thar Desert waali feel honey lagi. Par iss desert mein mirage ke naam pe ek pantry car tak nahin thi.
Tabhi Most Eligible Bachelor ne cheenkha “Woh dekho platform”. Humne raahat ki saans li. Train ke rukte hi humne chalaang lagayi. Landing ke baad humne ek doosre se poocha “Platform kahan hain”? Banjar zammen par ek ‘Pokhran‘ ka signboard tha.
Durr kahin humey ek pakode waala dikha. Humne khoobsaare pakode aur 2 mineral water ke botal uthaye. Pakode khaane ke baad humey kayi saal pehle huye uss nuclear blast ka asar pata chala . Woh radioactive pakode kha ke humare totey udd gaye aur saath mein andey bhi le gaye.
Iss episode ke baad hum apne priy mitra Shri Old Monk ko bag se aazad kar hi rahe the ki T.T.E. mahashay avtartit huye.
Humaare paas original ticket ka Xerox copy tha (Which is not equivalent to an e-ticket). Eligible Bachelor ke super intelligent dost ne counter se ticket book karwaya tha aur hume scanned copy mail kiya tha yeh keh kar ki chal jaayega. Agar us waqt paise nahin hotey to shayad humey chal ke hi aana padhta.
Humney TTE se samjhauta karne ki kaafi koshish ki par woh humse khafa ho kar AC compartment mein chale gaye. Ji woh baat kuch aisi thi ki Most Eligible Bachelor ne usey 50 rupaye offer kiya tha.
Agle station par ek aur TTE sahib aa gaye. Hum chaaro ne decide kiya ki iss baar 100 rupaye se shuru karenge. Par woh saala to imaandar nikla. Bola ki fir se humey ticket karwana hoga. Matlab poore paise lagenge. Tab pehle baar humne sleeper-class mein suffer karne ka lutf uthaya. Paise dene ke baad humne calculate kiya to pata chala ki hum chaaro ke paas mila jula kar tees rupye the. Arthaat train se utarte hi cigarettes to kharid sakte hain.
TTE ke jaate hi humne Shri Old Monk maharaj ko bag se nikala aur unka paan kiya . Uske baad to pata nahin kya hua aur kya nahin. Par mitti se sane sharir aur radioactice pakode se bhare pet ne aapas mein sulah kar lee aur apni premika arthat neend ki aagosh mein sama gaye.
Subah aankh khuli to 8-10 daily passengers bhookhi nazron se humey dekh rahe the. Pata chala ki unse apni hi tashreef ka bojh nahi sambhal raha. Hum apne berth se utar ke baith gaye. Kisi ko na to brush karne ki zaroorat mehsoos hui aur toilet ko dekh kar mal-dwar aur pet mein aise taale pad gaye mano ki shehar mein karfyue lag gaya ho.
Finally hum Palam ke platform par utare. Pata nahin woh mausam ka chamatkar tha ya humse huye balatkar ka, palam ka drishya kisi mirage se kam na tha.
Humne waqt zaya na karte huye, auto par apne aap ko lada aur apne ghar ki raah pakdi. Kyunki hum mein isse zyaada khushi shayad na-kabiley bardasht thi.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tees second ka baval!!!
Advertising waalo ki creativity 30 second ki hoti hai. Tees second ke vigyapan ke peeche kayi baar tees din lag jaate hain. Par anth mein wahi jaana hota hai to kisi ek ke liye creative ho.
Bhai hum to yeh soch kar advertising mein aaye the, ki yeh line bahut creative hai. Soch par koi pabandi nahin hai, agar vishwaas hai ki koi vigyapan kisi padarth ko bech sakta hain to bas uspar mohar laga do. Par yeh nahin socha ki soch ko bhi unidirectional banana padega. Jo boss soche wahi sahi baaki hum to nausikhiya hain.
Ismein bhi ek twist hai. Boss kabhi permanent nahin hotey. Kabhi aap agency badalte ho, to kabhi woh. Ab har boss ki soch ek jaisi to nahin ho sakti, bhala har kisi ki soch unidirectional to nahin ho sakta. To ab aapko apna soch ki raah ko badalna padhta hai. Kal tak jinn ideas pe taali bajte the aaj unhi par comments ki barsaat hoti hai. “Isme twist nahin hai, verbose hai, Radio is an interesting medium, one show ki site par jaa kar kuch TVCs dekho”
Inn saare bosses mein ek khoobi hoti hai bhale sabki soch alag ho, par gyaan ek sa dete hai. Inka khud ka kaam to Cannes ya One Show se inspired nahin lagta.
Anyways 3 saal ke experience ke baad aaj tak nahin pata chala which boss is right, par haan adapt karna zaroor seekha hai. Ab pata chala boss ki kahi hui baat ko likhne ko hi creativity kehte hai.
Bhai hum to yeh soch kar advertising mein aaye the, ki yeh line bahut creative hai. Soch par koi pabandi nahin hai, agar vishwaas hai ki koi vigyapan kisi padarth ko bech sakta hain to bas uspar mohar laga do. Par yeh nahin socha ki soch ko bhi unidirectional banana padega. Jo boss soche wahi sahi baaki hum to nausikhiya hain.
Ismein bhi ek twist hai. Boss kabhi permanent nahin hotey. Kabhi aap agency badalte ho, to kabhi woh. Ab har boss ki soch ek jaisi to nahin ho sakti, bhala har kisi ki soch unidirectional to nahin ho sakta. To ab aapko apna soch ki raah ko badalna padhta hai. Kal tak jinn ideas pe taali bajte the aaj unhi par comments ki barsaat hoti hai. “Isme twist nahin hai, verbose hai, Radio is an interesting medium, one show ki site par jaa kar kuch TVCs dekho”
Inn saare bosses mein ek khoobi hoti hai bhale sabki soch alag ho, par gyaan ek sa dete hai. Inka khud ka kaam to Cannes ya One Show se inspired nahin lagta.
Anyways 3 saal ke experience ke baad aaj tak nahin pata chala which boss is right, par haan adapt karna zaroor seekha hai. Ab pata chala boss ki kahi hui baat ko likhne ko hi creativity kehte hai.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Does God exist?
Yes he does. We’ve heard so many tales, worshipped so many idols, he can’t not exist. He has many faces, many names (at times a single God had 108 names).
It’s said, science has no answer to God’s power. God makes every decision. As the Hindi idiom goes, “God ke marzi ke bina, parinda par bhi nahin maar sakta”.
So who is God?
I have tried to narrow down my knowledge about him to one name. Alas! I failed. Some educated people told me that God is not a person but a power whose existence can never be deciphered. He does not have a religion or a Nationality. After years of insightful research and intelligent reading I have finally found him. His name is TRP.
TRP is not a person, but a power that decides the virtuoso of each field. From best channel to the annual package of celebrities, TRP decides it all.
TRP has decided that India TV is the No.1 news channel in India. So what if it does not enlighten us about current affairs. It has always informed us about the power of India. From a sage who can tell the past to a snake which could fly, India TV has always kept us aware of such talent. So what if Indian students died in Cambodia, India TV brought us the inside story of Abhi-Ash wedding. If you want to know about the current affairs, buy a newspaper, it doesn’t cost much.
There was a time when Rishi Munis prayed for years to meet God. Most of them found him, others were distracted by an item number. But, this is 21st century. No one has that much time. Nowadays all you have to do is - a lesbian bikini shoot or get kissed by a singer, and next day you will be the most popular person. Facebook and Twitter will second me on that. Of course, you can cry in front of the camera or pass obnoxious comments about a very popular person on a reality show. You get TRP and most of your dreams are fulfilled.
Thanks to TRP we know Kasab so much, we know about his dreams and aspirations. Else, how would we ever know that he wants to become an actor. I am sure Indian Media will at least get him the khitaab for the ‘Youth Icon’. Who knows tomorrow he might be spotted in an ad for Bournvita or Chyawanprash.
Accept it guys, everyone works for TRP, News channels broadcast footages based on TRP results. Reality shows are scripted; film stars settle their personal scores in front of the media. New shows are created based on TRP’s will, to please him. I bet no one can name a person who is more powerful that TRP. Even the likes of Osama and Obama cannot match him.
Well, if you guys have a different God in mind, please ask him/her to prove that he/she is more sought after than TRP. Ask him to make a reality show which is real, a talent hunt show where cricketers aren’t judges, a news channel which shows footages that don’t feature snake-charmers and a leader whose vision is broader than his state.
It’s said, science has no answer to God’s power. God makes every decision. As the Hindi idiom goes, “God ke marzi ke bina, parinda par bhi nahin maar sakta”.
So who is God?
I have tried to narrow down my knowledge about him to one name. Alas! I failed. Some educated people told me that God is not a person but a power whose existence can never be deciphered. He does not have a religion or a Nationality. After years of insightful research and intelligent reading I have finally found him. His name is TRP.
TRP is not a person, but a power that decides the virtuoso of each field. From best channel to the annual package of celebrities, TRP decides it all.
TRP has decided that India TV is the No.1 news channel in India. So what if it does not enlighten us about current affairs. It has always informed us about the power of India. From a sage who can tell the past to a snake which could fly, India TV has always kept us aware of such talent. So what if Indian students died in Cambodia, India TV brought us the inside story of Abhi-Ash wedding. If you want to know about the current affairs, buy a newspaper, it doesn’t cost much.
There was a time when Rishi Munis prayed for years to meet God. Most of them found him, others were distracted by an item number. But, this is 21st century. No one has that much time. Nowadays all you have to do is - a lesbian bikini shoot or get kissed by a singer, and next day you will be the most popular person. Facebook and Twitter will second me on that. Of course, you can cry in front of the camera or pass obnoxious comments about a very popular person on a reality show. You get TRP and most of your dreams are fulfilled.
Thanks to TRP we know Kasab so much, we know about his dreams and aspirations. Else, how would we ever know that he wants to become an actor. I am sure Indian Media will at least get him the khitaab for the ‘Youth Icon’. Who knows tomorrow he might be spotted in an ad for Bournvita or Chyawanprash.
Accept it guys, everyone works for TRP, News channels broadcast footages based on TRP results. Reality shows are scripted; film stars settle their personal scores in front of the media. New shows are created based on TRP’s will, to please him. I bet no one can name a person who is more powerful that TRP. Even the likes of Osama and Obama cannot match him.
Well, if you guys have a different God in mind, please ask him/her to prove that he/she is more sought after than TRP. Ask him to make a reality show which is real, a talent hunt show where cricketers aren’t judges, a news channel which shows footages that don’t feature snake-charmers and a leader whose vision is broader than his state.
Monday, October 26, 2009
International Literacy Day
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This poster has been done by my colleagues and me, in Rediffusion (Delhi)
Copywriters - Joybrato Dutta, Shatrughan Tripathi and Utsav Khare
Art Director - Arijit Adhikari
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Baaton ki phooljhadi
Train wo jagah hai jahan aapki mulakat kuch anokhe praniyo se hoti hai. Train jitna zyaada ghatiya hoga, anokhapan utna hi badhta jaayega (basically, uniqueness of the characters is inversely proportional to the speed of the train). Muri Express, Dilli se Jamshedpur jaane ke liye sabse ghatiya train. Jahan Rajdhani keval satrah ghante leti hai, yeh train tees ghante leti hai.
Subah ke paanch baje meri yatra shuru hui. Do din se sharer ko neend kam sharab zyaada mili thi. Iss wajah se apna suitcase seat ke neeche lock kar ke main upper-berth par chadne laga. Tabhi atthawan number ke Jha Ji bol pade, “ Aaj ke genarasion ko to jaise deemak kha gayi hai”, phir mere taraf dekh ke bole, “kyun babua, thik bole na hum”? Humne bhi palat ke jawab diya “Ab ka kare uncle ji, aajkal deemak bhi padhne-likhne lagi hai, jiss saaman ka expiry date nazdeek ho, usey muh nahin lagati”.
Mere khopche mein chaar log the, Jha Ji, aur mere alawa do IBM ke launde the. Dono ke hrishpusht sharer dekh ke Jha Ji unhe yoga ke baare samjhaane lage. Humare shareer ne jawab de diya.
Aankhe dopahar ke ek baje khuli. Tab tak Jha Ji aur IBM ke laundo mein achchi dosti ho gayi thi. Woh kuch politics ki baatien kar rahe the. Main bhi neeche utar ke unke saath baith gaya. IBM ke launde ko jaise hi maine bataya ki main advertising mein hun, to woh bade uttejit ho gaye. Sawalon ki goli-baadi shuri hui – Prasoon Joshi Piyush Pandey ka student tha na? Idea ke ‘Bacho ki padhai’ waale ad ko award mila na? Aap sirf Airtel ke ads banate the ya Vodafone ke bhi? Kya aapko saare products free ke milte hai? Kam se kam discount to milta hi hoga? Pata nahin unhe kya maloom tha advertising ke baare. Shayad unhe IBM ka laptop free ka milta hoga. Jawab dete dete khaane aa gaya. Iss bahane kuch der tak to unn zaalimo ke muh par taala lag gaya.
Khaane ke baad maine Jha Ji se unke kaam ke baare poocha. Pata chala wo kisi government firm mein bahut uche pad par karyarat hai (Firm and designation still unknown). Achanak baaju ke khopche se chayalees number waale Poddar Ji aaye. Aate hi bole “Raja Dasharath murkh nahin the”. Jawab dene se pehle unka phone baj utha.
Jha Ji attendant se lekar pantry waaley tak, sabki maar rakhi thi, “Arey yeh kaunsi sabzi hai- Main tum logo ki shikayat kar doonga – website address hai mere paas – AC itna dheere kyun chal raha hai – latrine mein saboon khatam kyun hai.” Finally humari taraf saantwana bhari nigaho se dekh kar bole – “Bacha party, ghabrao mat, inn sabko handle karna aata hai humko”.
Poddar Ji fir entry mare. “Raja Dasarath murkh nahin the. Pata hai kyun?” Hum sab utsook hokar unki taraf dekhne lage. Tabhi unhone meri god mein padi Amitav Ghosh ki kitaab ko dekha. Mere taraf dekh ke bole, “Arey Amitav toh yehin ka ladka hai, Inki biwi German hai. Uska ghar bhi yehin hain”. ‘Yehin’ se unka tatparya Jharkhand tha ya Germany tha, samajh nahin aaya. “Arey main inke ghar gaya hun, unke ghar mein sirf German kitaabe hai”. Jha Ji ko humara vaartalaap mein khaas ruchi nahin aayi, bol pade “Arey Poddarwa oo Dasarath waala ka locha hai?” Fir Poddar Ji ka phone baj gaya.
Inke bakchodiyon se pareshan hokar sooraj bhi dhal gaya. Poddar ji wapas aaye. Aate hi unhone videsho mein Hindustaniyo par badhle zulm ki baatein kehne lagey. Unke kuch dus rishtedaaro ne apne videsh waala karobar ko bandh kar Hindustan laut aaye the. Yeh sun kar Jha Ji bol pade “Arey hum saara duniya ghooma hai, par Jamshedpur se zyaada khoobsurat shehar kahin nahin dekha, sach maano business shuru karne ke liye isse behtar jagah koi nahin hai”. Yeh baat mujhe bahut achi lagi, bhai mere sheher ki tareef ho rahi thi, mujhe kyun na acha lagta.
Ek dum se subah ka bhoola attendant ne humare khopche mein kadam rakha. AC ki thandak aur latrine ka saboon jaise mahatwapoorn maslon ko Jha Ji ne unke samne rakha. Attendant bhi kam na tha, palat ke jawab dena shuru kiya. Dono saans-bahu ke bhaati jhagadne lagey. Saans-bahu ka jhagda ho aur nanad chup rahe, aisa to Hindustan ke kisi ghar mein nahin hota. IBM ke launde bhi bol pade. Yeh sun ke baaju ke khopcho ke aur log bhi aa gaye. Aakhir mein jeet ‘Saans X11’ ki hui.
Agle din subah Poddar ji fir aaye. Fir bole “Raja Dasarath murkh nahin tha”. Iss baar unhone baat poori ki – “Unhone teen shaadiyan ki, kyunki unhe pata tha, ek se guzara nahin hota. Mere khayal se hum sab ko unse seekhna chahiye”. IBM ka ek launda bol pada – “Ye sab granth ka galat matlab kuch tharkey log apne hisaab se nikalte hai aur zindagi ke philosophy me chepne ki koshish karte hai”. Poddar Ji fir jo uth ke gaye, wapas nahin aaye.
Finally train ne Tatanagar ke platform par kadam rakha. Main chupke se bhaag ke apne driver ke paas jaa hi raha tha ki Jha Ji ne haath daboch liya. “Babua, apna number de do, tum se milkar acha laga, agli baar Dilli aaya to tumse zaroor milunga”. Dil par pathar rakh ke maine unhe apna number diya. Toorant unhone missed call maara. “Babua mera number save kar lo, koi dikkat ho to batana”.
Station se bahar aate hi meri nazar ek board par gayi – ‘Patakhe kaan ke liye haanikarak ho sakta hai. Diwali surakshit dhang se maniye’.
Subah ke paanch baje meri yatra shuru hui. Do din se sharer ko neend kam sharab zyaada mili thi. Iss wajah se apna suitcase seat ke neeche lock kar ke main upper-berth par chadne laga. Tabhi atthawan number ke Jha Ji bol pade, “ Aaj ke genarasion ko to jaise deemak kha gayi hai”, phir mere taraf dekh ke bole, “kyun babua, thik bole na hum”? Humne bhi palat ke jawab diya “Ab ka kare uncle ji, aajkal deemak bhi padhne-likhne lagi hai, jiss saaman ka expiry date nazdeek ho, usey muh nahin lagati”.
Mere khopche mein chaar log the, Jha Ji, aur mere alawa do IBM ke launde the. Dono ke hrishpusht sharer dekh ke Jha Ji unhe yoga ke baare samjhaane lage. Humare shareer ne jawab de diya.
Aankhe dopahar ke ek baje khuli. Tab tak Jha Ji aur IBM ke laundo mein achchi dosti ho gayi thi. Woh kuch politics ki baatien kar rahe the. Main bhi neeche utar ke unke saath baith gaya. IBM ke launde ko jaise hi maine bataya ki main advertising mein hun, to woh bade uttejit ho gaye. Sawalon ki goli-baadi shuri hui – Prasoon Joshi Piyush Pandey ka student tha na? Idea ke ‘Bacho ki padhai’ waale ad ko award mila na? Aap sirf Airtel ke ads banate the ya Vodafone ke bhi? Kya aapko saare products free ke milte hai? Kam se kam discount to milta hi hoga? Pata nahin unhe kya maloom tha advertising ke baare. Shayad unhe IBM ka laptop free ka milta hoga. Jawab dete dete khaane aa gaya. Iss bahane kuch der tak to unn zaalimo ke muh par taala lag gaya.
Khaane ke baad maine Jha Ji se unke kaam ke baare poocha. Pata chala wo kisi government firm mein bahut uche pad par karyarat hai (Firm and designation still unknown). Achanak baaju ke khopche se chayalees number waale Poddar Ji aaye. Aate hi bole “Raja Dasharath murkh nahin the”. Jawab dene se pehle unka phone baj utha.
Jha Ji attendant se lekar pantry waaley tak, sabki maar rakhi thi, “Arey yeh kaunsi sabzi hai- Main tum logo ki shikayat kar doonga – website address hai mere paas – AC itna dheere kyun chal raha hai – latrine mein saboon khatam kyun hai.” Finally humari taraf saantwana bhari nigaho se dekh kar bole – “Bacha party, ghabrao mat, inn sabko handle karna aata hai humko”.
Poddar Ji fir entry mare. “Raja Dasarath murkh nahin the. Pata hai kyun?” Hum sab utsook hokar unki taraf dekhne lage. Tabhi unhone meri god mein padi Amitav Ghosh ki kitaab ko dekha. Mere taraf dekh ke bole, “Arey Amitav toh yehin ka ladka hai, Inki biwi German hai. Uska ghar bhi yehin hain”. ‘Yehin’ se unka tatparya Jharkhand tha ya Germany tha, samajh nahin aaya. “Arey main inke ghar gaya hun, unke ghar mein sirf German kitaabe hai”. Jha Ji ko humara vaartalaap mein khaas ruchi nahin aayi, bol pade “Arey Poddarwa oo Dasarath waala ka locha hai?” Fir Poddar Ji ka phone baj gaya.
Inke bakchodiyon se pareshan hokar sooraj bhi dhal gaya. Poddar ji wapas aaye. Aate hi unhone videsho mein Hindustaniyo par badhle zulm ki baatein kehne lagey. Unke kuch dus rishtedaaro ne apne videsh waala karobar ko bandh kar Hindustan laut aaye the. Yeh sun kar Jha Ji bol pade “Arey hum saara duniya ghooma hai, par Jamshedpur se zyaada khoobsurat shehar kahin nahin dekha, sach maano business shuru karne ke liye isse behtar jagah koi nahin hai”. Yeh baat mujhe bahut achi lagi, bhai mere sheher ki tareef ho rahi thi, mujhe kyun na acha lagta.
Ek dum se subah ka bhoola attendant ne humare khopche mein kadam rakha. AC ki thandak aur latrine ka saboon jaise mahatwapoorn maslon ko Jha Ji ne unke samne rakha. Attendant bhi kam na tha, palat ke jawab dena shuru kiya. Dono saans-bahu ke bhaati jhagadne lagey. Saans-bahu ka jhagda ho aur nanad chup rahe, aisa to Hindustan ke kisi ghar mein nahin hota. IBM ke launde bhi bol pade. Yeh sun ke baaju ke khopcho ke aur log bhi aa gaye. Aakhir mein jeet ‘Saans X11’ ki hui.
Agle din subah Poddar ji fir aaye. Fir bole “Raja Dasarath murkh nahin tha”. Iss baar unhone baat poori ki – “Unhone teen shaadiyan ki, kyunki unhe pata tha, ek se guzara nahin hota. Mere khayal se hum sab ko unse seekhna chahiye”. IBM ka ek launda bol pada – “Ye sab granth ka galat matlab kuch tharkey log apne hisaab se nikalte hai aur zindagi ke philosophy me chepne ki koshish karte hai”. Poddar Ji fir jo uth ke gaye, wapas nahin aaye.
Finally train ne Tatanagar ke platform par kadam rakha. Main chupke se bhaag ke apne driver ke paas jaa hi raha tha ki Jha Ji ne haath daboch liya. “Babua, apna number de do, tum se milkar acha laga, agli baar Dilli aaya to tumse zaroor milunga”. Dil par pathar rakh ke maine unhe apna number diya. Toorant unhone missed call maara. “Babua mera number save kar lo, koi dikkat ho to batana”.
Station se bahar aate hi meri nazar ek board par gayi – ‘Patakhe kaan ke liye haanikarak ho sakta hai. Diwali surakshit dhang se maniye’.
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