Today, they are like the identity of an individual. It’s like an asshole, everybody has one. Trouble is, you can’t get rid of them even if you are with your family, or boss. Imagine you boss asking you to work night shift and you retort by saying – “Gaand Mara’. Or your nephew defeats you in a game of Monopoly and you ask him to FUCK OFF.
Catchphrases fall under various categories
The Rhetoric type:
Ssup – It’s actually an abbreviation for wassup, which again, is an abbreviation for What’s up. Logically there can be limited answers to such a question. Like ceiling, sky, my girlfriend and a few others. But, tragically you aren’t supposed to answer. People don’t have the patience to wait for the answer. It’s one of those words you have to say when you meet someone. At times, it breaks the awkward silence, other times people ask wassup and just walk away. I mean WTF?
Which takes me to the 2nd in this category – What the Fuck. Although it sounds like a question, but it’s actually a statement. Logically there can be no answer. I mean I can answer to a question like What is fuck, or who is fucking but what the fuck?!?
Chutiya hai kya BC – This one’s my favourite. This is actually not rhetoric. A stupid guy can answer in yes or no. But, I like the beauty and the crispness of this statement. Because firstly it does abuse one by calling him BC and at the same time poses a friendly question Chutiya hai kya?
The Confidence Boosters:
Bhid Tu – Off late, I have been using this invariably. I picked this one from my pals Ravneet and Ved. This actually means ‘go for it’. But the context does not matter, because we use it even after someone ‘came back from it’.
Gaand phete jaaye tobu pod phaate na - I picked it from my ex-roomie, Abhishek Paul, aka Mr. Paul, aka KAKA, aka Sheiki Da. He along, with his Bong friends in hostel used it when they had to score more marks than a female counterpart. Now that’s what I call confidence.
Faad de saley ki – There’s nothing as encouraging as your pal or boss shouting out this catchphrase. But they never mention what exactly you are supposed to tear. In context to a human being, you know the options you have. But, what about a computer game, or a gym-equipment? How does one reckon I do that?
Haalaat ke Darpan
I’m screwed/ Phati padi hai / Lagg gayi – Well, lagg gayi though sounds like the abbreviation for LG, but it’s not. Say peace Korean brothers!!! The rest, although aren’t exact translations of each other but they do mean the same. In simple words they mean that you are going through a rough phase. But fuck simplicity.
Heaby chodon bara – Credit for this goes to my ex-roomie Abhishek Paul, aka Mr. Paul, aka KAKA, aka Sheiki Da. It’s like a Bengali equivalent of the above catchphrase. But that’s not all. See that’s the beauty of this statement. It can mean ‘I am screwed’ and can also mean’ I have enough to screw’. Contradictory huh!!! Kudos to my ex-roomie.
Party ho gayi - I picked this from a dear friend Saurabh. Although he’s quite the party type, this phrase doesn’t necessarily rely on his nocturnal life. According to him you can say this or tweet this (which is more likely) whenever you are happy. Like after winning a TT/Foosball match, or driving continuously for 10 minutes without stopping at a signal, etc.
The Appreciatory type
Bhid Tu – As I said earlier, neither do I nor the copyright owners Ved and Ravneet use it as per context. This ‘go for it’ slogan can be used after one is back from a conquest.
Faatiye diyecho Guro – Mostly I get to hear this from my dear friend Bhaskar. No this is not after I’ve won a conquest, but it’s mostly after I’ve uploaded a photoshopped photo of mine or a decent post on the blog. (Hope I get it as a comment for this one as well)
Ek Number – Although Mc Dowels has been using the English translation of it since a long time, I haven’t heard this phrase outside Pune or Mumbai. I love the feel of it. In fact my friend Soumen, when he gets excited says Ek November. Now that’s an appreciation.
The Anger Management type
Go Fuck yourself – How? Please tell me. I can’t. I wish I was that blessed. A person is so pissed at this moment that he/she ends up with a compliment. Would you beg to differ? Wink wink.
My friend Bappa once told this to a paratha-waala. He looked at us for a translation. We fled.
Fuck off – To where? I doubt if there is any logical explanation to this phrase. The other person is so pissed at this time that you dare not ask him/her the above question.
Buzz off – I have cracked this one (Phaatiye diyechi Guru). One gets to hear this when one talks too much and irritates the crap out of the other. This is more like a command like Fan off. Light off. Buzz off.
The CHAT/SMS type
LOL – Laughing out loud.
Retort: The smell is worse than the sound.
LMAO – Laughing My Ass Off.
Retort: Why? Planning to donate it to someone? May be your girl can use some. LOL
ROTF – Rolling on the floor.
Retort: No thanks, the floor’s clean enough.
BRB – Be right back
Retort: You or me? (Whoever, it holds valid for 24 hours)
The Universal type
Fuck – This word is not just a synonym for fornication, but is the most commonly used adjective, used to describe anything good or bad, happy or sad, like or dislike anything. Every adjective in the English dictionary can be replaced by the word FUCK.
A few days back a friend of mine dared me to talk without using any catchphrase or the word FUCK for one whole day. Well, that’s when I realised that my vocabulary was FUCKED.
