Uthlo bayi to Kotok (Cuttack) jayi – Part 2

It’s a proverb in Bengali which means – you plan a trip just before the ‘Scheduled Departure’.

Year 2004 – Bangalore – 1st year of college

Culprits: Surdy and me

Backdrop:

As usual a boring lecture. A truth of life – No matter how good you are, or what field you choose, you’ll always get a boring lecturer.

Surdy and I were attending such a lecture. It was a Monday, Diwali was 5 days away. Surdy looks at me and asks, “Abey Diwali mein ghar chale”. Usually I am very sensible and practical when it comes to answering such ravenous questions. But all I said was “Chal ticket karate hai”. We anxiously waited for the lecture to get over. Once the Ghanti rang, we stepped out.

Bus no. 283-A, the bus that goes to Bangalore station. We boarded the bus and left the college vicinity. On the way various thoughts like, “what’ll happen if we don’t get the ticket”, or “if college decides to check attendance”, lingered in our mind. But these petty thoughts can’t dampen valiant spirits. We reached the ‘Reservation Counter’.

Wish the queue on ‘Election Day’ would have been that long. It seemed, everyone was leaving for their hometown and finally Bangalorians will have their dream come true – A city free of Northies.

The man at the ticket counter was a very patient man, or may be he was glad to see a couple of educated louts. He checked for availability in a couple of trains and finally gave us the tickets for the worst train possible. Allepy-Tata express. We had to board that train from Chennai.

The connecting train was late. By the time we reached Chennai station we just had 2 minutes. Have you ever seen Shah Rukh Khan running in Karan Johar flicks, our running wasn’t the same. We ran more like Mithun Da (when there’s a bullet chasing him). By the time we reached our train our balls were in our mouth (Literal translation of – Gote muh mein aa gaye the). As we boarded the train there was some announcement, hard for us to decipher (Tamil). But, some learned man told us that our train had been postponed by 30 minutes. We were too tired to react so all that came out of our mouth was:

WHAAAAAAATDAAAFAAAAAK?

Finally our journey started and we left the malodorous station of Chennai.

The patient man at the ticket counter forgot to mention that this was a Honeymoon Train (By the way I am talking about an era when two men going for honeymoon was illegal). It stopped at every exotic location, doesn’t matter if there wasn’t a station within miles. At times it stopped for hours.
Finally after a struggle of 36 hours we reached Jamshedpur.

Did I mention earlier that this trip was supposed to be a surprise visit?

Q – What happens when you pay a surprise visit to your family?

Ans. – 60% chances are - you’ll be surprised.

As I reached home I saw what I wanted, a surprised expression on the face of Mom and Dad. But then I saw something I didn’t want to. My
not-so-close-relatives had decided to celebrate Diwali with my family as well.

Well I guess such trips are filled with excitement and adventure, but it has its disadvantages as well.

Uthlo bayi to Kotok (Cuttack) jayi – Part 1

It’s a proverb in Bengali which means – you plan a trip just before the ‘Scheduled Departure’.

Year 2003 – Pune

Culprits – Brandy, Bhajji, Apart, Casanova, Backstabber, CMKT, Firangi, Asshole, Bigboss (a tribute to our favourite brand of condoms) and me

The backdrop:

Our 2nd Unit Test just got over, we had booze, cards and of course a never-ending stock of ‘Faf’. As we entered the 3rd round of Booze and Bakchodi my door bell rang. It was our dear friend Asshole, who had a plan. “Let’s go to Sinhgad Fort”, he screamed. We looked at the watch - 1 am, perfect time to lose our mind.

The trip:

Vroommmm vrooooooom vrrroooooooom. That’s all our neighbours must have heard. 5 bikes set out to cruise the fuckall roads of Pune. On the way we stopped at Khadakvasla at 4 am. Ideally it should have been a 90 min drive, but thanks to the fabulous road-sense of Asshole and Backstabber, we discovered a lot more about Pune than we should have. As we were fafing on the banks, CMKT got a call he couldn’t ignore. Nature’s Call.

Q - When all you see around, is open verdant space, how do you answer nature’s call?

Ans. – Run as far as you can from eyesight.

Suddenly Asshole got a call from home, and the asshole had to leave. Now 10:5 is a good ratio. Can’t say the same for 9:4. We had to drop the idea of ‘Sunrise at Sinhgad’ and return. Now there were 3 of us sitting on Apart’s bike, Bhajji the driver, Bigboss and myself. On the way Firangi and Apart came up with a brilliant (uss waqt laga tha) idea. “Let’s go to Budhwar Peth”. For people who’ve never been to Pune, let me tell you I am talking about the red-light area of Pune. But ya it’s nothing as compared to ‘Shona Gachi’ of Kolkata (Kolkata Rocks!!!). Now, of the 9 leftover culprits 4 felt it’s a perilous idea. But 5 of us thought, it was the perfect age for such perils.

So we turned our bikes towards BP. I had never been more excited in life; actually all of us were except Bhajji who was driving a Pulsar 180 (actually it was a Pulsar 150 with a sticker of '180' on it), with his balls getting crushed against the petrol tank. Chants of ‘Budhwar Peth here I come’ and ‘Don’t worry whores the pricks are here’ filled the air. Once we entered the BP vicinity, we experienced an adrenaline rush. This time it wasn’t the BP peril, instead was created by a couple of cops who stopped us. Three people on a bike, no license, no helmets, little bit drunk, enough reasons for a night behind bars. Par jab tak dimag chalega humaari saanse chalegi.

“Kuthe” –the cop asked. “Sir Sasoon Hospital” Apart answered. One good thing Brandy did in his life was he gave me the visiting card of a highly respected Shiv Senani. I flagged it out to the cop. “This is our uncle, his son and my dear friend is admitted in the hospital.” The cops had no other choice but to let us go. With pride and alacrity in out heart we drove home and promised never to talk about that night to anyone.

5 drunk Jr. College students, caught in BP. Not one of the gossips, we’d like to be a part of.

P.S. – Sorry Bhajji, Apart, Bigboss, and Casanova.

Random thoughts of an I-don't-want-to-be-committed guy.

Zindagi ke niyamo ko Khuda hi jaane
Jab talash thi ek saathi ki
Koi saath na tha
Aur ab jab akelepan bhaa ne lagi
To akelapan na raha

The late night parties, the late night conversations
When nothing could demise our temptation
Was it simply a dream?
Funny but now it seems like a divine scheme

Kitna mushkil hota hai faisla lena
Ye dimaag ke kiss taar ko dil ne cheda
Kya saboot hai ki wo alag hai unn sabse
Jinn ulfato ko bhoolane ki koshish kar raha hun kabse

When destiny has administered all my decisions
Then why give me the I’ll-decide-provision
Tell me destiny, is she the answer to my prayers
Or is she no different from you angels, who left me in despair

Na yeh koi jung hai na mai koi sipahi
Jo anjaam ki parwah kiye bina jaari rakhu ye ladhai
Par mann mei kabhi kabhi ek ajeeb si chinta utpann hoti hai
Kya mera beeta hua kal har kal se bewafai karega

May be its time to move on, to forgive the past
To do things, that leaves an impression that can't be surpassed
Let’s create new moments, let’s sing new songs
Let’s forget the past, let’s go where we belong